Signed, sealed, but never quite delivered

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! We have a special Tudor-ific treat for you, today! We have invited fine lords and ladies of BuzzFocus to contribute to Pop Tudors. I dare say, they make a charming addition to the court!


THE TUDORS - Season 3

The last few episodes of the Tudors have featured several back and forth letter exchanges between King Henry VIII and his subjects. Well we did some digging through old archives and microfiche to uncover these three letters written to the King.

1)

My Dearest Henry,

I hope this letter finds you well. You may not remember me. I’m the shrew you bedded two Christmases ago. I believe you said the earth shook. Well it did for me as well.

I wanted to let you know that while shrewing in France, the prince discovered a rash on my genitalia. It’s probably nothing. Those French and their tongues. I just thought you should know. Have a blessed New Year. All my love to your new queen.

Yours eternally,
Mary

Happy Christmas

2)

Your Highness,

It grieves us to no end that you have raised taxes and laid waste to our abbeys. Our raising of arms is not a rebellion, but a pilgrimage to restore the Lord’s good graces to our kingdom. Most importantly we are making this pilgrimage because of your incessant hording of the Lady Ursula. A mistress of this quality should be shared with the people. This is a most dire grievance indeed. Was it not the Bard Sir Tupacillus III of West Side Yorkshire who did quote. “It shan’t be fun if the homies can’t have none?”

Regretfully yours,
Bitter Pilgrim

3)

My Dearest Henry,
I have stuck by your side these many years and have done much to garner your attention. I thought that by destroying the Catholic Church, the biggest opposition to our love, that you would finally have the courage to tell me your true feelings. Alas, this was not the case. Instead you chose to chastise me in front of the Duke of Suffolk in regards to this peasant uprising.

I am saddened by your lack of interest me – taunting me with titles only to bash me with name calling. You must have noticed that I have not taken a mistress? It is because of my undying love for you. Why do you mock me by showing me your lady conquests when in your heart I know you know your true feelings are for me? Please, my king, I may not be able to give you the son you so desperately yearn for, but I can give you more love than Katherine, Anne or even your Jane.

Lovingly yours,
Your Privy Seal T.C.


7 Comments

  1. Steph
    Posted May 1, 2009 at 7:38 am | Permalink

    OMG — let me find out Cromwell’s sexually frustrated!

  2. heather
    Posted May 4, 2009 at 3:06 pm | Permalink

    Omg.you guys are so funny . I loved the drinking game you guys played.

  3. Vicki
    Posted May 4, 2009 at 4:54 pm | Permalink

    WHAT HAPPENED TO HENRY’S LEG? I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING ANYTHING THAT WOULD CAUSE THE INFECTION?

  4. Eroca
    Posted May 4, 2009 at 7:08 pm | Permalink

    All three of those letters were hilarious, but I find that last one…well, gives me good reason to understand why Cromwell looked so disappointed on last night’s show. LOLLLLLLL!!!!

    Didn’t Henry’s leg become injured in a jousting incident? Or was that just the gout?

  5. Posted May 4, 2009 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

    Hey Vicki,
    Henry got the infection from last seasons jousting event. He was torn off his horse by a Lance to the leg.

  6. chronic head
    Posted May 6, 2009 at 6:35 pm | Permalink

    Hey, the dude who mplays Henry the VIII
    is good!!!!

  7. Leslie
    Posted May 7, 2009 at 6:09 pm | Permalink

    You girls rock! Love your recaps! I just watched them all again and still LMAO!


One Trackback

  1. By Tudors Weekly buzz! « Pop Tudors on May 6, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    […] again to our two amazing guest bloggers!  Check out Buzzfocus’s  Signed, Sealed, but Never Quite Delivered post.  As well as Fashiontribes contribution on Fashion Fit for a Queen. share This entry was […]

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