Tudors Insults Part Deux

I had so much fun writing the You just got served by Shakespeare insults post, that I decided to ask some of the funniest ladies in court to contribute a few of their own.

These are a few of my favorites that  Katina Corrao Submitted!

1. What was said:

She bears a duke’s revenues on her back, And in her heart she scorns our poverty. -Henry VI, Part 2, 1. 3

What it means:

The girl has a tattoo of a bear named Duke on her back. Her father struck it rich sometime ago so she has made a habit of making fun of those less fortunate.

2. What was said:

There shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree like brothers and worship me their lord. -Henry VI, Part 2, 4. 2

What it means:

My brother Hank owns a timeshare in Aruba. If you go you can eat and drink for free. Heck, he’ll even buy you some clothes from American Apparel. Oh wait, there’s just this one tiny thing. You may have to listen to a little seminar. And you also have to worship Hank as your lord.

3.  What was said:

Goodly Lord, what a wit-snapper you are! -The Merchant of Venice, 3.

What it means:

Lord runs an open mike every week at Goodly’s Restaurant. Beware, there’s a 2-drink minimum.

Photo courtesy of  Jonathan Hession/Showtime

Sweet eye patch bro.

Sweet eye patch bro.

Here are a few more insults from Elizabeth Black!

1. What was said:

A tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. -Macbeth, 5. 5

What it means:

Have you ever had someone try to explain a dream of theirs to you? And you have no idea what they’re talking about but you keep nodding and smiling ‘cause they’re sure it really means something? That’s exactly what it’s like talking to that guy.

2. What was said:

There is neither honesty, manhood or good fellowship in thee. -Henry IV Part 1

What it means:

You’re a liar, a). And b) you have a tiny dick. And three, you’re a lousy friend.

3. What was said:

Given to fornications, and to tavern, and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings, and swearings, and starlings, pribbles and prabble.  -The Merry Wives of Windsor, 5. 5

What it means:

We’re all here to help you because we think you have a problem. And you should get tested.

Thanks again Katina and Liz, well done!

One Comment

  1. Posted August 19, 2009 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    absolutely funny comments here – fantastic wit about you all. I especially loved the comment about the timeshare, that is what caught my attention via an auto notification. Made my day – Thanks.


Post a Comment

Required fields are marked *

*
*

%d bloggers like this: